Tag Archives: Depression

A Tribute to the late Eric Carmen from a Fan

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I heard “Go All The Way” on the oldies station last week in the car and it took me back to when I first heard the song many years ago. I was sixteen and I remember thinking, WOW! Who is that singing and who wrote those lyrics? I was blown away with that voice! Of course, now we all know that it was Eric Carmen. I decided to google him to see how his life was going since I hadn’t heard anything about him in years. I was hoping to read that he was living a happy life. I was surprised to learn that he had passed away last March. I don’t know how I missed that, so I searched some more and read various articles, some of which made me feel terrible for him. I saw a few recent photos and videos of him and was shocked to see that he didn’t look like that handsome young man with those pensive brown eyes and long, curly, brown hair that I loved. I understand that he was a gentleman of 74 but I did not recognize him.

I haven’t written anything in a while but his death compelled me to write a few sentences as a tribute, a thank you, and a good-bye to someone I had never met but who made such a lasting impression on me. I will never forget his voice, ever. It is embedded in my brain as one of the sweetest, perfect voices I have ever heard. Watching him sitting at his piano singing, “Never Going To Fall In Love Again” made me want to give him a big hug. I’m sure a lot of women my age who watched it live on tv would agree. Watching the old videos on YouTube made me want to cry. What a terrible loss! Some artists write stupid lyrics that mean nothing. I believe that he felt the words he was singing, that he actually experienced them. That is why I will always be a fan. One of my other favorites is, “All By Myself.” How can one man possess so much talent, and how hard must it have been for him to suppress it?

Another reason I decided to write something about him was because, according to The Rolling Stone (Eric Carmen Was a Power-Pop Legend. Then He Vanished), he struggled with depression, and alcohol and cocaine abuse. As someone who has experienced depression (not the alcohol and cocaine), I know how debilitating it can be. I often wonder if it’s genetics, personal trauma or both? I don’t know because I’m not a doctor, but something deep inside us just can’t handle certain things that have happened in our lives and no matter how much anyone tries to help and cheer us up, that underlying thing that is ruining our life just won’t let go. It’s always there even if you’ve worked through it, it’s right there in the front of your brain and it’s difficult to turn off. It’s easy for someone to tell you to just get over it especially if they’ve never experienced depression themselves. You never get over it, but you can work through it and turn your life around. Sometimes we intentionally hurt ourselves and unintentionally hurt the people we love the most. When the pain becomes too much to bear, some turn to alcohol or drugs. Both are terrible addictions that change our personalities for the worst and push our loved ones away. It appears that he did work through it all, hopefully with someone who really knew and loved him so I’m grateful knowing that.

I am a little depressed about his death and so very sad knowing that he’s gone and knowing what he must have gone through. From reaching the top and then falling to the bottom breaks my heart. It is also upsetting that a certain video from 18 years ago is still up for “educational purposes.” Why? Some people get great joy from kicking another person when they’re down. I feel bad for Eric Carmen and his wife, Amy, for the rotten things that were said about them. The article above makes them both sound like nut jobs. Eric’s son sounds like a real self-centered, entitled, brat with all the horrible things he said about the two of them. You can’t defend yourself when you’re dead.

I guess when you grow up listening to an artist that you really enjoyed, you feel like you know them, even though you really don’t. There is also the personal aspect of realizing that that part of your life, your youth, is gone, and you can never get it back. I don’t know how Mr. Carmen died and it doesn’t matter. I just hope that this man who so beautifully sang about wanting real love and happiness in his life, finally found it. I choose to remember him as that sexy, gorgeous, gifted, young guy with that distinctive, beautiful, perfect voice, soulful brown eyes and that long, brown, curly hair. No, I never knew him personally but to me, he will always be that shy, sensitive, sweet, kind, soft spoken guy who created great music that will stand the test of time. To his wife and family, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Rest In Peace Eric Carmen and Thank You!

Go All The Way

Eric Carmen and the Raspberries – Go All the Way (live)

Never Going To Fall In Love Again

Eric Carmen “Never Gonna Fall In Love Again” Live American Bandstand (1/31/76)

All By Myself

Eric Carmen – All By MySelf (HQ)

The Ramblings of a Mad Woman

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When I first started this blog, I did it in order to help other people find their forgotten ancestors. I persuaded my State Senator, Joe Robach, to draft legislation in 2011 that would allow for the release of patient names, dates of death, and location of graves to the public, which he introduced to the New York State Legislature. It first appeared on March 23, 2012 as S6805-2011. On January 8, 2014, it was reintroduced as S2514-2013.

There are at least 17 former New York State Hospitals / Insane Asylums that have been renamed, closed, demolished, or turned into New York State Prisons. The cemeteries located on former NYS Hospitals are filled with anonymous, unmarked graves. Willard alone has close to 6,000. Some of these former State Hospitals, such as Buffalo and Rochester, used city or county cemeteries and they are filled with the nameless as well. How many? I do not know. How long will it take to give these people the dignity in death that they deserve? When will they be allowed to rest in peace? When will they be remembered as fellow human beings who were on the same earthly path as everyone else before their lives and their freedom were taken from them? What else do I have to do to get the attention of the Governor and Assembly members to release the names of former patients who lived and died in these warehouses? The Department of Health and Human Services declared last March that patient medical records may be released to the public after 50 years of a patient’s death. Now we have to ask for another bill to be drafted and introduced to the Senate again in order to allow New York State to release medical records. After seven years on this journey, I am tired and just don’t have the desire to fight anymore.

Before I began my research on Willard and the other New York State Hospitals and Custodial Institutions, I considered myself to be normal, whatever that means. All kinds of interesting things happened to me and I wondered, why? I lost my job, went through menopause, osteoarthritis, and a neurological problem that I have always had, had become progressively worse. Depression is one of those “Mental Illnesses” that I never thought of as a “Mental Illness.” I thought that depression was a normal human emotion that one experiences when subjected to trauma or pain in any of its various forms. I would not have believed that I was “Mentally Ill,” until my neurologist, who I no longer go to, informed me that I have delusional thinking and I’m paranoid because I believe that I can no longer protect myself if I needed too like being able to run from a dangerous situation. This came from a 30 something year old man in perfect health who stands over 6 feet tall. I’m 57 years old, stand 5 feet 2 inches tall, and have Familial or Essential Tremors in my head and my right hand. My thinking is based on facts, not delusions. I thought that doctors were above this archaic type of thinking but I was wrong. Many men, even doctors, still don’t get it.

The reason why I am relating my story is that I am sure that had I lived one hundred years ago with these same progressive diseases, I would have been locked up! I would not have believed that a doctor would ever say such things to me and I can only imagine what must have happened to my great-grandmother, Maggie, who died at Willard State Hospital 86 years ago. If you wonder why people do not seek help, my little story is why they don’t. Am I labeled? I don’t know. It is frightening when you realize that you’re not feeling like your normal self, and seek help, and this is what a doctor says to you. Maybe we all need to be a little more aware of who is crazy and who is normal and realize that the people buried in those anonymous, unmarked graves were human beings like me, and you, just trying to make their way in life. Please write or call your New York State Senator so that this bill will become a law. Thank you!

THEY’RE BURIED WHERE? by Seth Voorhees